Have you ever had one of those moments where you are going through your old things and you find old journals from several years past? A few years ago I did that...I was living with my mother still (at the time), and came across one of those Ann-Frank journals...the rainbow ones with the black pages that you had to write your notes with gel-pens?
It was about one of the girliest things I had ever really done. Well, the entries in there were from third grade up to fifth grade. Needless to say, back then I had many psychological problems due to my abusive past.
Well, turns out that...back then, I thought that I was an alien by the name of Saphoson Siberocticon Magellen (say that three times fast). And my best friend was also an alien...supposedly by sister...and I forget the full name of her character, but her name was Aquarius and was shortened to Aqua. God...
It also turns out that I was a Goddess in the realm of Dragon Ball Z, and so I always wrote about collecting the Dragon Balls, gaining new powers, and marrying both Goku AND Vegeta (OMG! I was such a whore!).
Yeah...but then again, that was third-grade and a lot of kids tend to let their imaginations get the best of them. But at the same time, while i should have snapped out of that fantasy world...I obviously did not.
I went through my files again last night, and came across a trilogy of composition books that had been colored in red sharpie. These journals were dubbed the "Creepy Cabin Journals". Originally, these were journals that portrayed the time in middle school spent with a different best friend while we were over at her house.
The original Creepy Cabin Journal was supposed to be made into some sort of realistic novel...a story about two girls with these amazing powers and the adventures they went on together. I guess that back then, I was still stuck in this fantasy world where I had people using my body as something of a host so that they could roam around on our planet. I also had the gift to see spirits and communicate with them, and the power to fight things that weren't really there...also, in dreams, I flew to other planets and destroyed them. Weird, right? It's funny...because halfway through the first journal...i stop writing fantasy and take 3 pages to sit there and explain that none of what I had said was even real...I mean, some of the paranormal stuff had actually happened, but most of it was just utter bull sh**.
The other two CCJ's are just about my high school life and the changes I go through. in the second one I'm fighting with my sexuality and trying to get through a terrible heartbreak by my first girl crush...then in the third one I have a g/f in New York and I'm talking about all he drama there was with that...so at least I came out of that weird phase and actually got a reality check. It's a start right?
It's just amazing when you pick up old documents and realize how dumb you used to be!!! It's one of those things that you look at and say: "No wonder I did not have any friends back then..." ((lol))
Anyways, that's all the ranting I will do for now...I have a website to update! Bye!
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